Me (The Godfather) and my highly edumacated friends (digi, Ken, justuhgyrl) tell you what is wrong (and right) with the world today. Period. Basically this means current events, politics, business, bad business, corporate america, what we love, what we hate, capitalism, economics, why MBA grads are usually morons, (except us) Affirmitive Action, and so forth. To comment, just click on the "Comments" link and dont forget to subscribe to my blog by entering your email on the right.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

Stop viewing women as mere body parts!

Ironic that this is the view of the lesbian femi-nazis that created "The Vagina Monologues". A series of (often tax-funded) plays that constantly refer to women as Vaginas. Hmmm... thats a good way to stop referring to women as mere body parts.... ummm... ok....

It is also ironic that the femi-nazi lesbian man-hating bunch that wants to change Valentines Day to "V-Day" to bring attention to male violence against women, have a play that praises pedophilia, girl on girl rape, and lesbians violently raping underage girls..... And women wonder why their is a wage gap?

Read the disgusting story here.
Legal Disclaimer Craziness...

We live in a lawyer society. And nothing is more insane than all of these legal disclaimers I see on everything. My personal favorites are the completely idiotic disclaimers that are completely irrelevant. Case in point. I was pulling into a parking garage here in Atlanta and as I was getting my ticket I noticed the following sign:

"By entering these premises you agree that X Parking Company accepts no liability for any damage to your car, loss or theft including damage that may be our fault. You also understand that we accept no liability for any personal injury due to falling debris or any other cause. Any injury, damage or loss is not the responsibility or liability of X Parking Company and we cannot be held liable."

OK, that was just insane. If I walk in a parking garage and a hunk of the ceiling falls on my head and breaks my neck, no disclaimer on earth is going to save them. Companies really think that people are idiots (and most are) and when the garage collapses on top of their car they will just resign to thinking, "well, the sign says it isn't their fault."

And at the gas station, another sign that says "we are not responsible for the performance of your vehicle when using our gas. We accept no responsibility for any vehicle damage when using our product." Nice try. If Im filling it up with Unleaded and your morons put Diesel in the tank by mistake, you ARE liable. No ifs and or butts about it.

And at the Amusement Park...

"By entering these premises you agree that X Amusement Company is not liable for any injuries or death that may occur in our park. You agree to enter and use our facilities at your own risk. We are not responsible for any injuries or death that occur whether or not caused by our own negligence."

Again, nice try, but totally wrong.

Im going to wear a sign around my neck, and print another copy and put it on my car. It will read as follows:

"The individual wearing this sign is not liable for any damage or injury to you, your property, or anyone you care about. Any vehicle collisions are your own responsibility and I will not be held responsible. Also, I will not be liable for shooting you if you upset me or get in my way. Be reading this sign you agree to the above and have entered into a legally binding agreement."


Thursday, January 22, 2004

Does everything really need to be "scented"...

Ok. America has gone crazy with the whole "scented" insanity. Ya know, it wasn't that long ago that candles smelled like wax, now everywhere you go people's houses are saturated with 138 different scents. The candle thing I can understand, but certain things are just taking it too far. Case in point, with this cold weather the ants have been moving into my apartment, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and invest in a can of Raid. Not just any Raid, however, but Country Fresh Raid. Thats right, Country Fresh. Now, I used to live in the country, and I never remember it smelling like ant poison, but hey, thats what the Marketing folks at Raid must think it smells like. Maybe Im nuts, but do we really need to encourage people to start spraying Raid for its clean scent? I don't think using Raid as an air freshener is a really wise idea. The whole can is littered with warnings about inhaling the contents, spraying around food, spraying near pets, kids, etc. So why was making it smell good such a high priority?!?!

So my bathroom smells like Mango Mandarin, my kitchen smells like Country Apple, my bedroom smells like Cinnamon Stick, and my whole house has an overtone of ant poison, er, I mean, Country Fresh Raid. But hey, at least my clothes smell like they "have been dried in the sunshine". Apparently the good people at Proctor and Gamble things the sunshine smells like heavily perfumed Tide.


It's midnight and I wanted to be the first to wish our awesome Godfather a very happy 26th birthday! Don't say you're getting too old too fast....because ack! - I'm right behind you in a few weeks.

Hope you have the bestest birthday ever!!!


Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Scheme of the week....


Some people just have no conscience. I mean, a dirty bomb detector?! Are you kidding me?!
First of all, youd have to be sitting on top of the bomb for that to work, and if thats the case, you have other things to worry about. $159.... lets see, thats about $158.50 in profit. Oh and I love the bomb diagram on their site, the how-to of a dirty bomb. "Well you just use a pipe with a low order explosive, fuse and a radioactive isotope and here is what it should look like"

And make sure you pay careful attention to the instructions "two short beeps is fatal" well then would you hear it? And what exactly do you do at that point? "Well, Im gonna die now"

It is only a matter of time before I see some paranoid soccer moms wearing that thing around, or better yet, forcing their kids to wear it. "Now Johnny, if you hear two short beeps, umm, get under the desk". I mean what problem is this thing supposed to solve exactly? "Oh, there is radiation in the air! I better put on my containment suit." I mean what good is the $150 thing without a 20 grand suit?

I guess this is more proof that some people are so a) paranoid and b) stupid that you can literally sell them anything. Anyone that buys this needs to have their head examined. I see marital difficulties a definite for the people that actually buy this thing. I can just see a husband asking his wife why on earth she spent $160 on a Dirty Bomb Detector and her feeble attempts to explain how she is trying to protect her family.

"See honey, now if there are fatal levels of radioactive isotopes in the air, this thing will beep and tell us we are about to die so that we may put on our funeral clothes and pass on gracefully."

Here is a better idea. Spend that money on weed and when CNN comes on telling you a dirty bomb has just been detonated in your town and you are about to die a painful, skin boiling death, you can get all stoned and not even know whats happening to you.

As in, Laid Off. That was my fate today. It seems yet again I made the mistake of going to work for a very small company with zero corporate direction. A common trait in smaller companies - great product and the most incompetent management on Earth. Net result: my entire department done away with two months after I start, management doesn't know what to do with me so they just ignore me for four more months, then when that wears out, lay me off. Yea Id say that pretty much sums it up. Way to go, team!

Ya know, I have come to determine there are three types of companies out there - small, medium, and large. Real breakthrough, I know. But there is more to this story....

The very small company usually has a great niche but no direction, no goal, and no idea how to get there. And they are going nowhere fast. The product sells itself, and thats good, because the goons in Marketing are much more into The OC than Market Segementation.

The very big companies these days have no real niche, but rather a hodge podge of strategies and products. One only has to look at their local phone company to see an example of a billion dollar giant that has no clue what it really does anymore. I mean here in Atlanta, Bellsouth is hiring a "Assistant Manager, Forecast". Thats right, a Manager to just sit there and Forecast. So then sales must not do it anymore, right? Wrong. Everyone else still forecasts, now there is just another layer of management to manage the forecasts.

These mega companies have too many directions to get any clear path. The only goal is shareholder value, and they have so many layers of management fat that wouldn't know a good idea or a good employee if it bit them on the nose. Net result: total stagnation, zero innovation, and declining business. When can you think of the last time AT&T came out with a really killer new innovation? Drawing a blank? So am I. Yet AT&T used to be one of the greatest technology innovators on earth. My how times change.

Finally, there are a few of those mid-size companies that 'get it'. Still have a good product, still know how to sell it, and still have not completely given in to total micro management. Ah that third category is a rare gem. If you find it, hang on to it. Don't be confused, not all mid size companies are like this. In fact, very few are. Most are either stuck in the small company mindset and have incompetent management, or think they are bigger than they are and get bogged down in processes and multiple management layers.

So I am back on the quest of that rare middle breed. Now I just have to find someone in a Management position that isn't afraid of hiring someone that is perhaps more educated or even more intelligent than they are. Hahahahaha.... Wish me luck.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Dems Dump Dean....

Is it any surprise Dean came in a dissapointing third place in Iowa? Smart Democrats (there are a few) know that Dean just cant beat Bush. Only a war supporting Dem has a prayer of beating Bush. If anyone can beat him, its probably Kerry, so I am a little bummed. Oh well. Im just glad to see that tree hugging goon Dean get trounced.
More proof of just how dumb Democrats are...

Check out these bumper stickers? Gee, can you say "puhlease take care of me because Im just too dumb and lazy to take care of myself and thats what big bad George Bush expects me to do!"

Crybabies. I read these and I laugh. I realize that most of the Democratic base believes this crap and I worry.

See what I am talking about.
Stumpin' for the Southern Democrats...

Dean stopped by Georgia today to meet with (gag) Jimmy Carter. I mean, I can understand why Dean wants to come to Georgia to desperately try to get support with election-swinging Southern Democrats - a group he will be very hard to win over. Southern Democrats are your NASCAR watching, war supporting, Harley riding, middle-class, blue collar crowd. Dean's tree hugging liberal mantra really doesn't get their hearts all a flutter. So today, he shows up here in Georgia in what looks like a desperate attempt to get their support. That part I get. Now, what I do not understand at all is that he does it right in the middle of the Iowa caucus - something that he is rapidly losing support in. So why on earth does he leave Iowa when thats the only place that really matters right now? Wierd. Maybe its because the powers that be in the Democratic party have convinced him that he CANNOT beat George Bush. For two reasons. Reason one, the Southern Democrats as mentioned above. Reason two, and the REAL reason: a Dean (or any Democrat) win in '04 means no Hillary for President in '08. Therefore, I think the Democrats REALLY want Dean to get the nomination and actually THROW THE ELECTION this year to get closer to their Socialist goals with Hillary for President in '08. Plan on seeing some Clinton support for Dean, but not too much support. God forbid a Democrat actually win this election. Think we might see Hillary stumpin for Bush? Hmmmm....
I'm Sorry too...

Have you heard the new Reuben Studdard song? It is called 'Im Sorry 2004'. I just caught the video for it on some American Idol promo show. So the jist of this song is that Reuben is sorry for something he did a while ago to his woman, so he keep saying just how sorry he is, over, and over and over and over....

Well, after seeing the video, I can see just why he is so sorry. Of course, the woman in the video is beautiful. A very beautiful black woman. Now one must ask himself, are we really to believe Reuban is dating some super hot black chica back in the day before American Idol? No way. It insults my intelligence for someone to expect me to believe Reuben's exes look like that. Cmon, give us some credit. I have been to Reuben's hometown of Birmingham. Why dont we show what B-ham girls really look like.

Because aint no one gonna vote for that on TRL.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Office Supplies......
One of my favorite things to do in corporate America is to raid the office supply cabinet. I'm tellin’ ya, there isn't anything more fun than stocking up on post-it-notes, highlighters, and pens. It brings a wee tear to my eye to see that plastic shimmering under the mind-throbbing din of the fluorescent lighting.

However, one caveat at my current job that otherwise obscures the joy I derive from raiding the cabinet; we aren't “allowed” to have a pen without the company's name on it. You know, if I want to spend that extra $.50 for my Vision Uni-ball waterproof/fadeproof fine pen in black, blue, and red, then damnit, leave me alone, you're stepping on what has become a religious experience for me!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak - Part Deux
I second the apologies on the extended absense, but not the teeth brushing and bathing part :)

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Man its been a while! I have been taking a vacation from all of my responsibilities; work, the Blog, bathing, brushing my teethe, etc.... So now I am en unemployed, smelly, hairy, toothless fool! Well, not really....

Well so much has happened recently, where do I even begin? Todays Blog will be a hodge podge of my random thoughts - so enjoy!

First, let me apologize for my extended absence. Second, how bout that Howard Dean, eh? I am really rooting for him! If he gets the Democratic nomination, Bush is sure to win in 04. Watch for the Democratic National Committee to start some behind the scenes work to make him lose. They arent dumb. They know if a Democrat is going to be President, it is NOT going to be Dean. It has to be Kerry or Clark. How do you think that old Video of Dean got released? I can assure you it is NOT the Republicans. We know we have to run against someone, and we pray its Dean. Now the real question is, who will be running with Bush as VP? My bet is, it wont be Cheney again, any takers?

Next, why is Bush going easy on Immigrants? Does he really think tax-dodging, entitlement-abusing, law-breaking, immigrants are going to vote Republican? It just aint gonna happen. Also, Bush is becoming WAY too spend-crazy. I thought it was the Democrats who were big government? Bush needs to be careful or he is going to upset his core base. But we arent going to vote for anyone else, so I guess it doesnt matter....

My birthday is in a week. 26. Gag. I am getting way too old way too fast. Remember when you were a kid and you talked to your friends about when you were going to get married and have kids and you had it all figured out? Well when I was a kid, I was supposed to be married and working on my first kid by now. I got some catching up to do.

Get a new job. Did you miss that? GET A NEW JOB!!!!! One more time, GET A NEW JOB!!!! Listen, the economy is growing, companies are hiring a LOT right now, and it has been a while since an economy-killing terrorist attack. There are a lot of things that can happen that will tank the economy again, so I suggest not sitting back. If you are considering a job change, do it and do it now. First quarter is always the best time to get a job, so get cracking! You will thank me!

Have you been watching The Apprentice? It is the new "reality" show with Donald Trump. I must say it is great watching women whore themselves out to move ahead in business. Let me rephrase that. Its great to see it happen on TV. I see it happen in the real world every single day. At least now maybe people will realize how some women are able to be as successful as they are. I have said it before and I will say it again. If you are a young, beautiful female, and willing to sacrifice your integrity for success, you will never be wanting. Last week on The Apprentice was a perfect example. The girls made 4 times what the guys did selling lemonade. Why? Because they charged 5 times as much and kissed the guys that bought it. Gee, go figure. They should have took their tops off. Then they would have made even more. But hey, that was only the first episode.... Tune in Wednesday (I think) night on NBC for the ongoing saga. I think everyone should watch this show to see just how low people will go, and how quickly they will trash their morals and integrity, for money and success. Just like in real life. I guess this is a "reality" show after all. Shameful.

Enough for now.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Getting married is not a joke.

"Hey, I'm a world famous pop singer. You know what would be a hilarious joke? Let me marry my childhood friend in the middle of the night in Vegas. hahahaha. It'll be so much fun. Whoops! I didn't know what I was getting in to. I'm only in my 20's. Marriage means living together and babies and all that? I had no idea!"

Whatever, Britney! You just got tired that Justin and Cameron and Ben and J. Lo and about every other famous person was getting more press than you at the moment. So you had to marry your poor friend from Lousiana and then get it annuled a few hours later. Guess that was the only thing that could top the kiss with Madonna.

I'm just disgusted that it made CNN and all the news networks. Maybe if we ignore her she'll finally grow up and go away.

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